Oh Ye of Little Faith...

I say I believe, but yet I worry. I say I surrender myself to thee..I lay all my affairs in Thy hand, yet I doubt and fear. I say I will be a happy and joyful being, and I will not let trouble harrass me, yet I sigh and whine....
Sometimes day to day life, and small things get the better of me..I sweat the small stuff. Then I pray, I see what I have around me, great family and friends, and I feel ashamed of letting small things worry and upset me...Then I shake up, and straighten up and life gets all bright and better!

Bali, Indonesia

Bali was a place which I wanted to go for some time. Heard much about the beaches, the culture and people. And they are very famous for great Spas! For a very cheap price! So we grabbed a promotional offer and went off just husband and i for the first time leaving behind our son's and headed to the tropical island of Bali!!!! And I call this trip the 'marriage saving trip':). It was a 3hours flight from Kuala Lumpur and arrived in Bali about noon. We did not book any accommodation, which is on hindsight not a very good idea as Bali is always fully booked. It is more like a mini Australia, as every nook and corner there are Australian tourist by the dozen. Many comes there for surfing... And with the conversion from AUD to Indonesian rupiah, it becomes a very cheap holiday destination. So anyway we took a cab to the Legian street which is the quieter street of the famous Kuta Beach, and walked around and found a hotel, actually the only one available, as cost about USD30, with swimming pool and a balinese courtyard. The bathroom was a little dinghy for my liking..but we had no choice. So we headed to the beach, and the waves were pretty wild and everyone was doing the beach thingy. It felt a little weird at first as it has been ages since just siva and i went for a holiday without the kids..It felt strange to be able to just do anything with no worries of the kids...Okay before you judge we missed the boys very much all throughout the holiday but we wanted to just enjoy the time we were there. So we ate, and we ate, and we walked, and we walked! Actually we ate more then we walked, it was crazy. We ate guacamole with avocado, kebab, sate, pizza, balinese food, all kinds, we had breakfast, tea, lunch, tea, dinner and supper...with no interruption. We read, and finished a book each, watched CD's vantage point and a kevin costner show, we went for a Bali dance thingy, we walked amongs the paddy fields, we cycled through balinese villages and spoke to the people, we took a drive through the only kind of art village which is 20km long heading towards the volcanic mountains. okay the only thing is i have so few photos to justify all this. As when we are actually doing things and breathing in the moment, we forget to put a camera in front of us.. Balinese art and craft are amazing and very cheap. We bought 2 large pieces of abstract oil painting which cost me about USD30-40 only, and they are beautiful. I will get those pics and post it here. We made a good contact with Week a local who has a car and does drive us around on very good rates, trustworthy and reliable. We stayed the next 3 days near the mountains, which is Ubud in a small hotel which is surrounded by paddy fields, the hotel has a stream which goes kinda under or through it and has a typical balinese design. It is the Junjungan Bali Hotel and Spa. And yes we went to the spa, had good massage, manicure, pedicure and all...and came out completely spoilt and wanting for more.

Bhaarath's Birthday!

Last Sunday, May 17th we had a birthday party at McDonalds. I was at a lost for a venue and decided to have it at McDs. My baby Bhaarath turned 3. He had so much fun having get to celebrate his birthday and receiving many gifts. It was a simple and fun party with family and friends. I love you Bhaarath, may you have another 100 birthdays in your life!

17 May 2007...I believe in Miracles.

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Bhaarath during his 1st week and now...

My second son, Bhaarata may not have grown in my tummy, but he grew in my heart and my soul. He was truly a gift from God! We took the eventful journey to receive him, my husband, my oldest son and I. It was such a nerve wrecking moment as I already loved him when we decided to take that journey. I remember the nurse bringing him down and he was wearing this yellow t-shirt and cute socks and a pair of white special shoes for his special feet. I did not want to carry him until I was certain that he was going to be mine, as I cant imagine holding him and not having him. My husband held him first and fell in love with him, Arjoonha decided at 4 years old that he is the baby brother for him. I was the last to carry him, and I was trying my best not to cry but then again emotions got the better of me. What was worst was we were not able to take him home that day. When we left it was heartbreaking as I was leaving my son behind. It was such a long night...The next morning we went back and we received him, and this time I carried him, and held him tight, and said a quick good bye and dashed into the car and felt strange having this little boy on my lap. He was very quiet and I was kissing his head all the time, to assure him that all will be okay. I was not sure if I could love another as I love my Arjoonha. But as I held him I know I have nothing to worry as I felt all the love and more. When we reached home it was all so surreal. He just lied down and slept on our couch. That night I kept on checking the baby court to see if he was for real and really there in the room with us. I saw him sleeping soundly, my husband and I kept on carrying him throught the night. And I loved him from that first moment and I love him even more now...

9 April 2003...Motherhood.

I conceived my oldest boy, Arjoonha, about 8 months after our wedding. We loved him from the time we found out we were pregnant. My husband and I prayed for him everyday and read stories and sang to him. The pregnancy was perfect except for the 1st trimester where I was throwing up and feeling nauseas. When it came time for my delivery, there were some complications and he was born 'baby blue' not breathing, and they have to revive him. I remember muttering's from the nurses that I am bleeding too much, and Arjoonha being rushed off from the room to be resuscitated. I remember my husband running after the nurses ...and I remember him coming into the room about 1 hour later. I honestly thought that the baby did not make it from the look on my husband's face. He said the baby is okay and they are checking on him. I refused to believe and demanded to see a doctor. My husband came again with a doctor to reassure me that the baby is fine but they have to keep him in the ICU for observation. I remember being wheeled back to my room and I started crying when I was alone, as the whole experience is not what I expected. I expected to have my baby beside me and I should be feeding him. But I was alone the first night with no baby and felt cheated. The next morning I was wheeled to the ICU to see the baby for the first time. And he was a large baby at about 4kg. And I felt all the emotions a mother should feel, and wanted to take care of him and protect him. Both of us stayed at the ICU for 10 days, as his sugar level was very low. It was the longest 10 days of my life as I was so worried that something will go wrong. At the end of our stay I was so ready to go home to the normalcy of life and just to enjoy him without all those drips, and to be able to cuddle and carry him freely. I hardly accepted any phone calls during that time, and shut myself up from the rest of the world, except for my husband. I spent time saying prayers and also to record his daily progress and just caring for the baby so we could both get out of the hospital happily. And all ended well and we were back home! I never imagined I could feel so much love like the one I felt for my son!

Arjoonha's 6th Birthday Party!

Pictures from Arjoonha's birthday party. The cake was made by a dear friend!

I feel totally BLESSED!

I feel totally blessed today! For having a great mother who always is full of energy and love, for having had a father who loved to read(probably where all of us got our habits from), for having 2 wonderful sisters who are always willing to help and be there for me, a brother who is considerate and kind, a husband who puts my happiness above his and helps around, my maid who is always smiling and puts up with my impatience, my sons who are a joy to me and gives me a purpose to strive, my friends who listens and makes me laugh, my work which I love and pays my bill, my 2 wonderful colleagues who have become more then colleagues to me, my laptop for giving me some quiet time to blog my thoughts away....I feel totally blessed today!

My Baby is 6!

Pin the tail to the Elephant and the Pinata


Arjoonha my oldest just turned 6 on the 9th of April. This will be his last pre-schooling year. Every year at least 2-3 months before his birthday we will get excited and start talking about his birthday. Last 5 years we had parties at all the outlets in town. This year we decided to settle for an old fashioned birthday parties at home, and it is tomorrow. Now I found out how much work actually involves in preparing a party at home. Have to ensure that there are appropriate food for kids and parents, games to keep them entertained, party favours and decorations to create the right ambience etc. I have fond memories of my own birthdays when I was a young child Though we had little financially my mother ensures to make it special for us, by making our favourite food or having a small party. And I want my children to grow having wonderful fun memories of their birthdays and to make it a day that they have lots of fun with their friends. So I have to get my creative juice flowing...Will a game of pinata, pinning the tail to the elephant, musical chair, poison box and 'dance and freeze' be good for a 6 year old and his friends? We shall find out tomorrow! Here are the pics...not very eerrr professional ...but cheaper then the ones we buy from the store. God Bless You Arjoonha.

Bahai New Year!

Had a great time hosting lunch for about 50 family and friends. It was also like a house warming do. It was really nice to have all loved ones together, though I was moving from one group to another and cannot really remember who I spoke to and who I did not, but it was just a nice fuzzy feeling. Kids had a great time making a mess in their rooms and thrashing all the toys (sigh)! Awi and I had a crazy time trying to figure out which piece belonged to which part. These are the signs of kids having too many toys...