Year Ends

There is something hopeful and refreshing about year ends. Probably it's all the commercial, and hype..from the media. But year ends always makes everyone looks a little more cheerful, happier and relaxed. There is something exciting about a new year ahead, a chance to get things right, to start all over again, to wish and to hope to make things better then the past year! If I could just have a choice of one resolution, then it will be to try harder..and if I could have just one wish, then it would be wishing for peace to reign on earth! And we started our year end partying earlier...And had a sumptious dinner!

Simple Life!

When I was a young child our idea of a holiday or getaway is going to relatives or friends house during the school holidays. My parents will be busy catching up with their friends over meals or tv and we the kids will be chatting away or playing games such as hide and seek and as we grew older maybe monopoly. No strolling in the shopping mall, computer games and checking into hotels...we were not able to to afford that. And as a child I envied those who were able to stay in hotels and go to far away places for holidays. As an adult now I realise I begin to crave for those simple holidays where we are able to call into a friends or cousins place. This is exactly what we did last weekend. We took the kids to a friends place at another state and stayed at their home and we felt so welcome..and happy just catching up and chatting till the wee hours of the morning! We ate at home, went for walks and dinner...The kids...hmm they played, they watched lots of TV(sigh the idiot box seems to dominate all homes)... We did not spend much, it was a cheap break, but it was fulfilling, warm and fun..

My kids are growing up way too fast!

Arjoonha started school yesterday, he is in year one, 7 year old big boy! I cant believe it,still remember him being the cutest baby so gentle and easy to care for. Now here he is wearing his school uniform and going to the big school! i felt so anxious and nervous for him. How if he is bullied, how if he gets an ogre for a teacher, how if he is a very poor student and comes out last in class, how if he is depressed and despises school..how if he does not enjoy school the way I did a long time ago! I brought him to school, and was with him for awhile, he seems quiet but at ease, and soon i left and he seemed alright! I felt better seeing him all cool about it and not making a fuss...and i thought okay this is not too bad after all...the world is not as bad out there as i imagined it to be! Bhaarath my 2nd son is going to preschool in january and it's a whole lot of changes for us. Both boys in school. I will miss them just being crazy and young and not worrying about schoolwork! But they grow, and learn, and hurt and laugh and cry and smile and hopefully they will grow up to be courageous, kind and God fearing!

Good movies come in all colors...black,white, yellow or red!

I love watching movies, documentaries, cook shows, celebrity news and almost everything and anything. Nothing gives me more joy then a good movie, and my version of a good movie is a about 'women, and family, and love and friendship and jane austen kind of love! I also have a sadistic streak and once awhile enjoys holocaust and end of the world movies, and of course that will include going to the cinema to watch 2012! Have booked tickets for the family today evening! What i enjoy is not the sordid details of dying and the world coming to an end, I dont believe in that! But the good and bad of humanity when something terrible happens. I sure do hope 2012 will not be disappointing. Growing up I was a fan of little house in the prairie, and wanted to be laura ingalls(braid and all), or wanting to be Anne in Anne of Green Gables(with hair as red as carrot), or wanting a family like the Waltons(grandpa and grandma)! A dose of a good movie and a good cuppa coffee is all I need to perk me up...and also well behaved children, loving husband, lots of money, lots of free time...Hope I am not asking for too much here!:)

Maidless

Our domestic helper dear Awi has left for a 2 months break. Selfishly I so regret for granting her a 2 months break, though it's a well earned one. I was so nervous the thought of her leaving to indonesia, where she comes from. She has been with us for 5 years and we have come to rely on her more then we will like to admit. She cleans and cooks for us, and while we are out at work she minds the kids. So you can imagine just how much she does. Being working parents with a full time job and 2 active boys leaves us with very little time. Any time left after work is spent with them, or taking them for classes and prayer sessions..Without a maid we have to send them to daycares and childminders which can be more costly and not having a home environment. A good domestic helper is indeed a blessing for us. They take care of our home and kids while we are at work. Back to Awi being away, i was a bundle of nerves, and my sweet friend Louis offered his maid to help us for 4 days a week. That was so surreal and took care of most of our worries. So sunday till friday morning i have help with house and kids, and that is such a BLESSING. Friday till sunday afternoon without any help with kids and housework was making me all crazy and totally exhausted. There is just no way working mothers can hold a full time job and still take care of kids and run a clean home. So I am counting my blessings! And my heart goes out to all the women out there who does too much.. ! I am counting my blessings!

8 years of marriage!

Today is our 8th year wedding anniversary! We got married at 5pm, 20th October 2001. Siva my husband was so nervous walking down the aisle and I was busy waving at everyone and he was getting all nervous as I was all over the place. I remember when we were invited to give the wedding speech, I literally grabbed the mic from him and gave the speech first not that I was domineering(though Siva will beg to differ), but because I was nervous and wanted to get it over with, and I remember not having a taste of our own wedding dinner because we were busy talking and meeting guests...and later we were so hungry and when all went home we went out with shorts and tshirt to the nearest tea shop and had tea! I remember us feeling a little funny that we were husband and wife and not merely a couple still dating..It all felt strange and comfortable! I remember us feeling exciting and fun preparing for our honeymoon to Thailand.. I remember Siva having sore eyes during the honeymoon but we just didnt care..It feels like a lifetime ago, but only 8 years ago. I married Siva not for the usual reasons, of gentle and being tall dark and handsome...err he is tall and dark though...2 out of 3 is not too bad I guess.. But I married him as I know I can totally rely on him. ...And he will be and is a great father..and he is the most generous and helpful person I have ever come across ..And he will put my welfare, my children, family and friends welfare first...I sure do hope we have many, many more anniversaries to celebrate!

It's a all about family who became friends, and friends who became family

Last weekend was a weekend all about family and friends. My brothers and sisters gathered at my place and we had a cook-out...and also we took many family photos. I really wanted us to take some family shots with my mother...as she is not getting any younger..so many many photos were taken! I was glad. We wanted to get photos professionally done, but it was a Sunday and all photo studios were closed! But nevertheless we transformed my little garden into a photo studio... I was happy! And I have this urge to sit down with my mum and find out about her childhood, and how she met my dad, and more about my dad, as I never really knew him, and by the time I wanted to know him, he was gone. So must make it a point this weekend to get my mum over.

Something about year ends.

End of 2009 is fast approaching, and really what happened to the last 10 months...It just ran by while I was busy with life. Year end always put me in good mood, the thought of wrapping up, gatherings, beginnings...it is almost like a long extended Friday! If you know what I mean. The next 2 months is going to be different very different. Why? Awi my domestic helper is going back to Indonesia for 2 long months to be with her family. She so dearly misses her children. But the bright side is she will come back and extende her stay for another 2 years or so...God willing! So the next 2 months with no help in hand i have many delegations in mind. It is going to be pretty adventurous, with Siva and me working full time and no one to tend to home and kids. I need my mother's help...Time for the SOS call...and lots of arrangements. Kids are all growing up and soon another year older...

Yoga

After much procastination and failed attempts, I have alas enrolled in a Yoga class. The timing is perfect 8-930pm, a small class of 5, and 3 minutes drive from home.Perfect! My first class was yesterday and I literally got my body into a TWIST! I feel ache all over today, used muscles which I never knew existed. But I felt good, 1.5 hours of just about me and my body and my breathing:).That is a luxury...and to make it better I am slowly but surely trying to convince my husband to enrol too. Hopefully it helps with his back problems and also in keeping fit!....Road to a Healthier US!

July, August and well into September...it passes by

I haven't blogged for so long...almost 3 months..time just passed by...And I am not quite sure what happened and where it went. To capture the glimpse of the last 3 months

- friends had marital problems...on and off..and I was doing lots of listening.
- did lots of gardening and have a patch of garden with green grass and some nice potted plants..and some sugarcane, roselle plant...and some flowering plants...all looks trimmed and nice
- business is getting better compared to the 1st half of the year...Thank you God.
- Arjoonha my oldest son, got his entry to year one, which he will be starting in January and i am feeling anxious of the thought of him going to a proper school. My baby all grown up. I hope he makes lots of great friends and finds joy in learning.
- did lots of baking, orange butter cake, brownies, carrot cake...
- failed in some attempt of losing weight
- visited melaka and had a great weekend...went to the Melaka Zoo and kids had a blast.


Present : Oh I am so tired of the jam caused by the fasting month...all will end after this weekend. Hope i find more inspiration to blog..my heart has been lacking creative juice I guess...or ahem am I having a writers block...LOL!

Oh Ye of Little Faith...

I say I believe, but yet I worry. I say I surrender myself to thee..I lay all my affairs in Thy hand, yet I doubt and fear. I say I will be a happy and joyful being, and I will not let trouble harrass me, yet I sigh and whine....
Sometimes day to day life, and small things get the better of me..I sweat the small stuff. Then I pray, I see what I have around me, great family and friends, and I feel ashamed of letting small things worry and upset me...Then I shake up, and straighten up and life gets all bright and better!

Bali, Indonesia

Bali was a place which I wanted to go for some time. Heard much about the beaches, the culture and people. And they are very famous for great Spas! For a very cheap price! So we grabbed a promotional offer and went off just husband and i for the first time leaving behind our son's and headed to the tropical island of Bali!!!! And I call this trip the 'marriage saving trip':). It was a 3hours flight from Kuala Lumpur and arrived in Bali about noon. We did not book any accommodation, which is on hindsight not a very good idea as Bali is always fully booked. It is more like a mini Australia, as every nook and corner there are Australian tourist by the dozen. Many comes there for surfing... And with the conversion from AUD to Indonesian rupiah, it becomes a very cheap holiday destination. So anyway we took a cab to the Legian street which is the quieter street of the famous Kuta Beach, and walked around and found a hotel, actually the only one available, as cost about USD30, with swimming pool and a balinese courtyard. The bathroom was a little dinghy for my liking..but we had no choice. So we headed to the beach, and the waves were pretty wild and everyone was doing the beach thingy. It felt a little weird at first as it has been ages since just siva and i went for a holiday without the kids..It felt strange to be able to just do anything with no worries of the kids...Okay before you judge we missed the boys very much all throughout the holiday but we wanted to just enjoy the time we were there. So we ate, and we ate, and we walked, and we walked! Actually we ate more then we walked, it was crazy. We ate guacamole with avocado, kebab, sate, pizza, balinese food, all kinds, we had breakfast, tea, lunch, tea, dinner and supper...with no interruption. We read, and finished a book each, watched CD's vantage point and a kevin costner show, we went for a Bali dance thingy, we walked amongs the paddy fields, we cycled through balinese villages and spoke to the people, we took a drive through the only kind of art village which is 20km long heading towards the volcanic mountains. okay the only thing is i have so few photos to justify all this. As when we are actually doing things and breathing in the moment, we forget to put a camera in front of us.. Balinese art and craft are amazing and very cheap. We bought 2 large pieces of abstract oil painting which cost me about USD30-40 only, and they are beautiful. I will get those pics and post it here. We made a good contact with Week a local who has a car and does drive us around on very good rates, trustworthy and reliable. We stayed the next 3 days near the mountains, which is Ubud in a small hotel which is surrounded by paddy fields, the hotel has a stream which goes kinda under or through it and has a typical balinese design. It is the Junjungan Bali Hotel and Spa. And yes we went to the spa, had good massage, manicure, pedicure and all...and came out completely spoilt and wanting for more.

Bhaarath's Birthday!

Last Sunday, May 17th we had a birthday party at McDonalds. I was at a lost for a venue and decided to have it at McDs. My baby Bhaarath turned 3. He had so much fun having get to celebrate his birthday and receiving many gifts. It was a simple and fun party with family and friends. I love you Bhaarath, may you have another 100 birthdays in your life!

17 May 2007...I believe in Miracles.

Bhaarath during his 1st week and now...

My second son, Bhaarata may not have grown in my tummy, but he grew in my heart and my soul. He was truly a gift from God! We took the eventful journey to receive him, my husband, my oldest son and I. It was such a nerve wrecking moment as I already loved him when we decided to take that journey. I remember the nurse bringing him down and he was wearing this yellow t-shirt and cute socks and a pair of white special shoes for his special feet. I did not want to carry him until I was certain that he was going to be mine, as I cant imagine holding him and not having him. My husband held him first and fell in love with him, Arjoonha decided at 4 years old that he is the baby brother for him. I was the last to carry him, and I was trying my best not to cry but then again emotions got the better of me. What was worst was we were not able to take him home that day. When we left it was heartbreaking as I was leaving my son behind. It was such a long night...The next morning we went back and we received him, and this time I carried him, and held him tight, and said a quick good bye and dashed into the car and felt strange having this little boy on my lap. He was very quiet and I was kissing his head all the time, to assure him that all will be okay. I was not sure if I could love another as I love my Arjoonha. But as I held him I know I have nothing to worry as I felt all the love and more. When we reached home it was all so surreal. He just lied down and slept on our couch. That night I kept on checking the baby court to see if he was for real and really there in the room with us. I saw him sleeping soundly, my husband and I kept on carrying him throught the night. And I loved him from that first moment and I love him even more now...

9 April 2003...Motherhood.

I conceived my oldest boy, Arjoonha, about 8 months after our wedding. We loved him from the time we found out we were pregnant. My husband and I prayed for him everyday and read stories and sang to him. The pregnancy was perfect except for the 1st trimester where I was throwing up and feeling nauseas. When it came time for my delivery, there were some complications and he was born 'baby blue' not breathing, and they have to revive him. I remember muttering's from the nurses that I am bleeding too much, and Arjoonha being rushed off from the room to be resuscitated. I remember my husband running after the nurses ...and I remember him coming into the room about 1 hour later. I honestly thought that the baby did not make it from the look on my husband's face. He said the baby is okay and they are checking on him. I refused to believe and demanded to see a doctor. My husband came again with a doctor to reassure me that the baby is fine but they have to keep him in the ICU for observation. I remember being wheeled back to my room and I started crying when I was alone, as the whole experience is not what I expected. I expected to have my baby beside me and I should be feeding him. But I was alone the first night with no baby and felt cheated. The next morning I was wheeled to the ICU to see the baby for the first time. And he was a large baby at about 4kg. And I felt all the emotions a mother should feel, and wanted to take care of him and protect him. Both of us stayed at the ICU for 10 days, as his sugar level was very low. It was the longest 10 days of my life as I was so worried that something will go wrong. At the end of our stay I was so ready to go home to the normalcy of life and just to enjoy him without all those drips, and to be able to cuddle and carry him freely. I hardly accepted any phone calls during that time, and shut myself up from the rest of the world, except for my husband. I spent time saying prayers and also to record his daily progress and just caring for the baby so we could both get out of the hospital happily. And all ended well and we were back home! I never imagined I could feel so much love like the one I felt for my son!

Arjoonha's 6th Birthday Party!

Pictures from Arjoonha's birthday party. The cake was made by a dear friend!

I feel totally BLESSED!

I feel totally blessed today! For having a great mother who always is full of energy and love, for having had a father who loved to read(probably where all of us got our habits from), for having 2 wonderful sisters who are always willing to help and be there for me, a brother who is considerate and kind, a husband who puts my happiness above his and helps around, my maid who is always smiling and puts up with my impatience, my sons who are a joy to me and gives me a purpose to strive, my friends who listens and makes me laugh, my work which I love and pays my bill, my 2 wonderful colleagues who have become more then colleagues to me, my laptop for giving me some quiet time to blog my thoughts away....I feel totally blessed today!

My Baby is 6!

Pin the tail to the Elephant and the Pinata


Arjoonha my oldest just turned 6 on the 9th of April. This will be his last pre-schooling year. Every year at least 2-3 months before his birthday we will get excited and start talking about his birthday. Last 5 years we had parties at all the outlets in town. This year we decided to settle for an old fashioned birthday parties at home, and it is tomorrow. Now I found out how much work actually involves in preparing a party at home. Have to ensure that there are appropriate food for kids and parents, games to keep them entertained, party favours and decorations to create the right ambience etc. I have fond memories of my own birthdays when I was a young child Though we had little financially my mother ensures to make it special for us, by making our favourite food or having a small party. And I want my children to grow having wonderful fun memories of their birthdays and to make it a day that they have lots of fun with their friends. So I have to get my creative juice flowing...Will a game of pinata, pinning the tail to the elephant, musical chair, poison box and 'dance and freeze' be good for a 6 year old and his friends? We shall find out tomorrow! Here are the pics...not very eerrr professional ...but cheaper then the ones we buy from the store. God Bless You Arjoonha.

Bahai New Year!

Had a great time hosting lunch for about 50 family and friends. It was also like a house warming do. It was really nice to have all loved ones together, though I was moving from one group to another and cannot really remember who I spoke to and who I did not, but it was just a nice fuzzy feeling. Kids had a great time making a mess in their rooms and thrashing all the toys (sigh)! Awi and I had a crazy time trying to figure out which piece belonged to which part. These are the signs of kids having too many toys...

Open House, Open Hearts

Next Sunday I will be having family and friends over for lunch, about 50 of them. Am not cooking this time, I will just enjoy the company, as food is being catered, yahoo!. It's Bahai New Year. From now till May there will be a whirlpool of activities. April will be Arjoonha's 6th birthday and May will be my baby's who is turning 3! There is something about planning all these, and making it the best time for the kids and also family and friends. Opening my home to friends, I feel is a physical gesture of opening my heart, and at the end of the day what really matters are the relationship one forms with the people around them.

My Mum!

My sister's and I

My mother!



It was my mum's 73rd birthday on Feb 15. We had a surprise do for her with family and friends at my place. My mother...what can one say. She is an amazing lady in the true sense of the word. She is a chinese by origin and given up for adoption to an Indian family. She was loved by her adopted mother who was a widow and my grandma passed away when my mum was barely 12. My mum has to go and live with a relative who only took her in as a helper to assist with household chores and taking care of her 10 children. She went through many tough days but her sense of humour, curiosity of life got her through. She could have easily chose to be bitter and sensitive, but she became totally the opposite. She even treated that lady with love and respect till her last days. She then later was married off to my dad at 17 and my dad was 34 years old. What I learnt most from my mum is about giving and welcoming people of all walks of life, races and religion. If there is a Radio or TV that is not working my mum will fix it, a leak in the roof she will fix it. A neighbour needs help, she will be there... A fun personality too. She is so very mischiveous, and loves to play pranks on people even till now..she drives us mad some times. I hope she will have many more healthy birthdays to come, and I hope that I can emulate her in living life!

I am not too sure...Happy Valentine's

I just realised I havent blogged for more than a month. I really dont know why, but i know I have this unsettled feeling inside me...Maybe I am anxious about the economy and the effect it may have on my work, the political climate of the country..and many more.Maybe i am menopausal, is 37 too young to go thru it?? I do have a lot in my mind to write though. Tomorrow's valentine's day. I am going to cook Roast Lamb Shoulder Jamie Olivier Style for husband and children. For the boy's they are not familiar with red meat, so will make them roast chicken instead,and we will have a family dinner with candlelight and all. I told my 6 year old that I am inviting him for dinner and he asked me where? I said my kitchen, and he said "I can't drive yet"..hmmm.. One can never be too sure what goes through 6 year old's mind. Happy Valentine's Day!

Family Portrait

There is something about family portraits that is intriguing. I always look for one when I am at someone's home. At my mother in laws house, there are faded family photos on the wall. It catches the era it was taken in with the 50s and 70s hairdo and fashion. And I will scrutinise each of their faces to see if they are looking happy or sad. I will ask my mother in law their stories. At my mother's place there are family portraits of her mother who adopted her but whom we never knew as she passed away when my mum was a teenager. Family photos gives me a sense of belonging and continuation. I have been wanting to have my family picture taken for some time now, since Arjoonha was 2. But procastination got the better of me. But then again it will not be a complete family without Bhaarath around. So since we have Bhaarath(my 2nd son) in our life now, it feels just about time to get it done. Here we go...all of of us.

2009 ARRIVES!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! I am well into 2009 now! We ushered in the New Year with about 40 friends and family,while eating 12 grapes each when the clock struck 12(supposedly a Philipines tradition as a symbol to have 12 sweet months), and watching the display of fireworks from the Twin Tower! We hugged and wished each other a very happy new year,and we came home about 2am. And wallah...we are in 2009! My hope and wish for this year is to live it with humanity in mind and to be joyfully optimistic.